Ranking the four classical novels

I may not have finished reading Romance of the Three Kingdoms yet, but I’ve seen enough of it to know whether it’s any good. Of the four great classics, my personal ranking is:

1.	Romance of the Three Kingdoms
2.	Water Margin (a.k.a. Outlaws of the Marsh)
3.	Journey to the West
4.	Dream of the Red Chamber (a.k.a. A Dream of Red Mansions)

Now, I know many consider that Dream of the Red Chamber is the pick of the bunch, but truth be told, it’s the most boring and insipid book about the most banal and vapid characters. I mean they cry like babies all the frickin’ time, especially the men. Grow a pair and get on with it. Yes, there might be a little bit of satire in it, but really, the whole book is a giant waste of time, and unless you enjoy watching daily soap operas, you should steer clear of this book. For a more interesting read, might I suggest War and Peace?

Now, I kind of wish that Journey to the West resonated a bit better with me, because it really is quite a funny and engrossing adventure. But, the trouble with this book is its episodic and repetitive nature. It feels a little bit like episodes of The Simpsons, but instead of the good earlier stuff, I mean the most recent seasons with its crude attempts at ridiculous and over the top comedy.

Finally, we get to the top two, Water Margin and Romance of the Three Kingdoms. These deal with heroes and villains, political machinations, loyalty and betrayal. Plus a whole lot of war and violence. The fact that George R. R. Martin’s epic A Song of Ice and Fire is so popular, shows that we love reading about realistic characters and engrossing storylines in our times, just as much as our ancestors did hundreds of years ago.

In summary, the four great novels of China actually form three great novels and one complete dud, which I presume is only included because they needed one that was able to put people to sleep. If you are also interested in taking up the challenge of reading these four books with at least 100 chapters each, I can highly recommend three.

Water Margin – the final part

Weapons! Violence! Manly men! Bad guys!

Written by

Shi Nai’an during the Yuan Dynasty

And so, we come to the conclusion of the epic tale about Song Jiang and his 107 heroes of Liangshan Marsh. As the story draws to a close, there is, as usual, relentless action, intrigue and a general sense that the emperor is incompetent. There’s just no other way to describe it. Apart from, perhaps, that he’s far too forgiving and it’s surprising that he’s not been killed himself.

As Song Jiang and his band of merry men receive their amnesty from the Emperor Huizhong of the Song Dynasty, they abandon their fortress in Liangshan Marsh and march to the imperial capital, which in those days, was modern day Kaifeng. There, the emperor wants to convey gifts and titles upon our 108 heroes, but are advised against such an action by the corrupt Marshal Gao and Minister Tong Guan.

When it is found out that those same ministers have been withholding important information about a northern invasion by the Liao, the emperor decides to forgive his useless advisors. Personally, if my empire was under threat and those responsible didn’t tell me, they wouldn’t be forgiven. It’s a wonder this guy managed to stay emperor. Showing forgiveness is one of his virtues, but sadly, intelligence is not.

Anyway, back to the story. This final part of the book tells of the final adventures and campaigns of Song Jiang’s army. Initially, they are sent to stop the Liao invasion from the north, and does so successfully, with minimal losses to his numbers. After their triumphant expedition, Song Jiang is once again spurned by the useless officials (who really should have either been fired, or killed by now), and embarks on another long campaign, this time against the rebel leader Fang La who has taken over much of the lands in the south.

Without spoiling the end, apart from saying that it’s bittersweet, Water Margin is definitely a classic, entertaining legend. Sure, the legend is based on people who I’m sure were far worse than their fictional counterparts, and I’m sure that the real story of Song Jiang’s bandits were not nearly so spectacular. But in the heady days of imperial China, and even in modern times, the need for heroes exist, even if they weren’t exactly as the stories described. The book may be long (or longer, if you really wanted!), but it’s so easy to read, it’s almost as if it was written for everyone to pick up and enjoy. At the end of the day, that’s good entertainment.

Water Margin – part two

Weapons! Violence! Manly men! Bad guys!

Written by

Shi Nai’an during the Yuan Dynasty

Seventy chapters. That’s how long it takes to assemble 108 heroes and their army on Mount Liangshan. According to my calculator, that is 1.543 heroes per chapter, to the first four significant figures. Now, there are only thirty chapters remaining in the book, so surely, there must be more to the deal. Water Margin is still going strong as a martial arts action slaughterfest set in Imperial China.

The one thing that stands out very strongly in the book is just how easily the various generals and government officials who ultimately join the Mount Liangshan heroes are swayed from their original careers. Now, surely there’s a bit of plot magic here, and maybe even cultural ignorance on my part, but failure to triumph seems to be as tolerated as well as hemorrhoids by the imperial court. And that failure seems to be punished disproportionately, usually by beheading or some exile. Rather than face any form of punishment, many of the bandits join out of a desire for self preservation.

However, Song Jiang, the paramount leader of the outlaws is a virtuous and good man, who is able to convince his followers that they should fight for the good of the nation. They set about offing local officials who are corrupt and tyrannical. Of course, the amount of gift giving, bribery and destruction that goes on in the name of saving people would make the Communists in Beijing green with envy. This is in the context of actual gold and silver (!) being used as the de facto currency in China during the Imperial period, as a sort of hybrid barter/money economy. That is a LOT of precious metal being handed about.

This ingrained social “custom”, where gifts are given freely in the name of generosity and kindness (and hoping to gain favour and a future connection), to show you are humble and a top class member of society still goes on today in China. Old habits die hard, and would be immensely strange in the West, where many would imagine this kind of practice is bribery in all but name. Taken to the extreme, of course, it can land people in lots of trouble down the road.

Of course, we cannot forgo mentioning the main comic relief of the story, the impetuous and always angry Li Kui, also known as the Black Whirlwind. His main weapons are twin battleaxes (this bloke must surely be analogous to Dwayne Johnson) and he goes into battle in the buff. In. The. Frickin’ Buff! If this character is not the ultimate manly man, I don’t know who is. His vulgarity and quick temper make him dangerous to everyone, even himself, but he was fiercely loyal to Song Jiang and The Cause, so his adventures (read: wild bouts of bloodlust) are more comical than anything else.

Water Margin continues to be massively entertaining, simply because every single chapter has some action in it. It’s pretty filled to the brim with gore, splattered brains, innards and lots of decapitations, but the level of violence is no worse than the modern epic fantasy series Game of Thrones. Steady on, as we plow head on and finish the last portion of the book!

Water Margin – part one

Weapons! Violence! Manly men! Bad guys!

Written by

Shi Nai’an during the Yuan Dynasty

Continuing in my quest to read the great four classical Chinese novels, I’ve decided that Water Margin, also known as Outlaws of the Marsh is next up. This book is the eldest of the four, being written during the first period of Mongol rule in China during the 13th century, and set in the Song Dynasty, which fell just prior to the life of the author, Shi Nai’an. This book is based on the folk legends of Song Jiang and his 36 outlaw companions who eventually surrendered to the authorities of the Song empire.

The book begins with a chapter about how 108 fierce spirits are released by the arrogant Marshal Hong. Eventually, these 108 spirits end up embodied in 108 men, gradually introduced into the story, becoming the outlaws of the Mount Liang marsh. The first quarter of the book basically sets up the identities of the outlaws themselves, from various backgrounds, as well as the main antagonist, Gao Qiu, a greedy incompetent man who also manages to rise to the position of Marshal in the Imperial Army.

The first third of the book deals with the story of the major outlaws, and how they banded together to build a cohesive fighting force. Their stories are linked, sometimes quite tenuously, and through many instances of amazing coincidence. Never mind, it’s a fiction book, and coincidence is used to great effect in having the characters meet each other and become members of the “gallant fraternity” out in the wilderness.

The book is both hilarious in its blunt use of crude language and shocking in its violent imagery. In one scene, you’re likely to watch as a guy gets kicked in the groin, before having his head cut off and his entrails removed. It’s that kind of book. However, it is extremely fun to read, because, thankfully, it doesn’t try to invoke some sort of mystic atmosphere like A Dream of Red Mansions. Even better, none of the characters are the spoilt cry baby wusses in Mansions, and prefer to settle their issues with martial arts and gory violence.

Water Margin is an extremely fun book to read, despite its length of 100 chapters. There are various versions of the book, one that is only 70 chapters long and another that is 120, though the 100 chapter version is the most popular one. No matter what version you read, you’ll have a hell of a time, because it’s quite funny. It feels a bit like a Jacky Chan film.

Rating

This book is definitely R-rated. But hilariously R-rated, just like a warm apple pie.

Should I read this?

Definitely, it’s quite an enjoyable read. I’ve even managed to get through quite a lot of the book surprisingly quickly.

Heavy reading ahoy!

I admit to having a secret shame – for lack of a better word. Since going to high school and discovering Starcraft and other computer games, I had read very few books. Of course, the books that I did read were The Lord of the Rings trilogy and some prose compulsory to actually passing Year 12. Unfortunately, some of the things we had to read included selected plays by a bloke named Shakespeare. I didn’t get the appeal of his writings (probably because having to write essays about them didn’t help), although the movie version of Othello starring Morpheus did at least have two interesting points in it.

It wasn’t until very recently when the HBO series Game of Thrones began to air when I started reading again. Figuring that the show – brilliant as it is – didn’t have the depth and complexity that the books contain, I set forth on a journey to read again. I was right, all five of the books released so far have been brilliant. But I haven’t stopped there. I’ve decided it’s time to catch up on some classics and the first I’ve gone through (very, very slowly) are War and Peace and Anna Karenina. The next classics on my list are four of the most famous books from Chinese antiquity:

• A Dream of Red Mansions – also known as The Story of the Stone
• Romance of the Three Kingdoms
• Journey to the West
• Water Margin

Both Water Margin and Journey to the West date back to the 14th century, although one has obviously become far more well known throughout the world than the other, with TV series, cartoons and movies all being based on Journey to the West. Either way, I’m looking forward to seeing what the fuss about these four books is all about.