Honestly, who thought this was a good idea?

Johnny Depp as Charlie Mortdecai
Gwyneth Paltrow as Johanna Mortdecai
Ewan McGregor as Inspector Martland
Paul Bettany as Jock Strapp
with Olivia Munn as Georgina Krampf
and Jeff Goldblum as Milton Krampf

If there’s one reason I don’t like Johnny Depp movies, it’s his hammy, over acted and slightly creepy comedic style. Not quite the silent, situational and well thought out skits of Rowan Atkinson’s Mr Bean, not quite the subtle, yet in your face stupidity that is Monty Python. In fact, not even as good as open mic night at your local pub. This latest effort, Mortdecai, is no exception.

In the style of Johnny Depp, his character is the unconventionally incompetent and vacuous Charlie Mortdecai, who’s in debt, going broke and trying to offload his considerably worthy possessions on to people who are collectors of rare and expensive works.

Next, he’s recruited by his wife’s suitor, the much more competent Inspector Martland, into helping to solve the mystery of an art restorer’s murder. Through a series of situational gags (which are rarely funny), jokes and one lines (which aren’t funny) and something about (literally) gagging at a moustache, the movie plods along to its inevitable happy ending.

Yeah, I made the face that Johnny Depp makes in the header image when watching this. Not much more to say really.

If you’re considering spending money on this, just don’t. Read the book anthology, because that might well be worth it. This movie is a stinking pile.


I’d rather spend 107 minutes of my life shovelling horse manure.

Watch this if you…

Are blind and deaf.

Don’t watch this if you…

Listen to good advice.


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