So…the moral of the story is never bully an innocent person, especially one who possesses immeasurable supernatural powers?

Featuring

Chloe Grace-Moretz as Carrie White
Julianne Moore as the batsh!t crazy Margaret White
Gabriella Wilde as Sue Snell
Judy Greer as Rita Desjardin
Ansel Elgort as Tommy Ross
with Portia Doubleday as Chris Hargensen

Can anybody actually tell me what the actual point of Carrie is? The plot is pretty threadbare and the ending is by no means ambiguous. Is it, perhaps, a tale of tragedy due to circumstance or a study into the potentially nasty social hierarchy of high school life?

Margaret White is your stereotypical fundamentalist Christian woman, unaware of biological functions and why she seems to have strange cravings at night as her belly grows to enormous proportions. During one of her intense evening knitting sessions, she starts to experience a lot of pain and her baby comes popping out of her.

How she is unaware she’s carrying a child, I have no idea. Although, everything that she sees or does is potentially a sin, in her mind, so who the hell knows? On the verge of committing infanticide with a large kitchen knife, she reconsiders and decides maybe murder isn’t really the way to meet God and atone for sin.

Fast forward nearly eighteen years. Margaret’s daughter, Carrie, is on the cusp of graduating from high school, and begins to discover and train her telekinetic powers. But, her mother is so batsh!t insane, that Carrie is forbidden to be a normal kid, resulting in her being socially isolated and a pariah to her peers. She’s just such an easy target, and it’s all her mother’s fault. I mean, really, she has her first period and because she has no idea what’s going on, her entire class publicly mocks her for it. Two things don’t make sense here: that there’s not one sympathetic person in her entire class to stop this horrendous behaviour, and the fact that she’s having her first period at the age of seventeen or eighteen.

After the class is chewed out by the school’s staff, Sue Snell, one of the more popular kids, decides that she should grow a conscience and stop being so nasty to Carrie. So she drops out of the prom, orders her boyfriend to take Carrie to it as his date as a self inflicted punishment and so that Carrie won’t always feel like the world’s against her. This is really, really great. But, geez, why the hell doesn’t Sue just go up to Carrie and APOLOGISE for being so nasty before this point as well? She has every opportunity to do this!

Unfortunately, Sue’s former best friend, the b!@tchy Chris Hargensen, a spoilt daughter of a lawyer, and her equally b!@tchy clique decides that Carrie just needs to be further persecuted purely because they were punished by the staff. So, they set up this elaborate plan to humiliate Carrie in front of the entire graduating class. You can see where this movie is going. It can only end really well, like the fairytale about the ugly duckling turning into a swan, or a tragedy where nearly everyone important dies.

Unfortunately, even though the cast is pretty much top notch, especially with Julianne Moore and Chloe Grace-Moretz as Margaret and Carrie White respectively, the movie is unable to capitalise on it purely because the story itself is limp and features too many plotholes. I’m not criticising Stephen King for the original story, more along the lines of the way the movie treats it and the plotholes it introduces, which is basically to bury itself in the sand in the hope that nobody notices its ugly rear end. Some of the more glaring plotholes are:

1. What happened to Carrie’s dad? Where is he? Surely, he’d have partial custody!
2. What happened to the rest of the White family? They can’t be the only ones left alive, like grandparents, aunts and uncles!
3. Surely, there must be other students at the local high school who are in the pariah sin-bin just like Carrie. Shouldn’t they also get the living sh!te kicked out of them from time to time?
4. On that topic, why is there only one teacher that cares about Carrie’s well-being? Isn’t it their job to care? Why is it that no other students are sympathetic to Carrie’s plight apart from Tom and Sue?
5. The local cops and firefighters are useless. They are unable to spot, and try to stop, a blood soaked girl FLYING through the air chasing after an orange muscle car!
6. Seriously, why doesn’t Sue just apologise to Carrie to clear her conscience? The fact remains that she could also still go to the damn prom, even as a singleton, because she wasn’t banned!
7. Where the frak did those rocks at the end come from, and why did nobody come out of the neighbouring houses to investigate all that noise?!

You might think I’m being nitpicky here, but gaping plot issues in a movie really put me off. The holes may well have been addressed in the book, but they’re not even glossed over here, which is frankly ridiculous. Unfortunately, this means that the great cast assembled for the movie is wasted, contributing to a feeling that Carrie should have gone direct to DVD rather than being billed as a release worthy of the big screen.

Check out the trailer

Rating

A-grade casting, C-grade movie.

Should I watch this?

This movie is the answer to a question nobody asked. And, with so many plot holes and bad presumptions, it would be comical were it not such a sad story.

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